Friends Amazed By Bald Guy’s Uncanny Resemblance To Other Bald Guy

Close friends of a follically challenged shire man have noted that he looks spookily like another bald guy they see around the place. “I swear Gerry and this other guy could be twins,” said Sutherland car horn detailer Ben Weatherby about his best mate Gerry Simonson. “I thought I recognised his big shiny scone in Cronulla Mall the other day and was about smack him … Continue reading Friends Amazed By Bald Guy’s Uncanny Resemblance To Other Bald Guy

National Gallery Replaces Blue Poles With Square Of RSL Club Carpet

The National Gallery of Australia has announced that it will be selling the iconic Jackson Pollock artwork “Blue Poles” and replacing it with a square of carpet from the floor of the Wagga Wagga RSL Club. “The square of carpet is a wonderful and rare example of the “action painting” genre pioneered by Pollock,” said head curator Vivienne Easel. “Just like Pollock’s best work it … Continue reading National Gallery Replaces Blue Poles With Square Of RSL Club Carpet

Shire Kids Sent To Sunday School So They’ll Get The Jokes In Their Christmas Cards

A survey has found that Shire parents are only sending their kids to Sunday school in the hope that they can learn enough about the nativity story to be able to get the jokes in humorous Christmas cards. “I don’t want my kids growing up to be churchies or anything but I do want them to be able to have a laugh at a reference … Continue reading Shire Kids Sent To Sunday School So They’ll Get The Jokes In Their Christmas Cards

Shire Man Feeling Like A Boss After Using Two 50c Coins Instead Of Dollar

An ecstatic Shire man believes it is impossible for his day to get any better after he managed to use two fifty cent coins to make a purchase instead of a dollar coin. “I’m now able to close my wallet again without working up a sweat,” said beaming Miranda bobcat driver Carl Donnelly. “When the lady at the cake shop said the nenish tart cost … Continue reading Shire Man Feeling Like A Boss After Using Two 50c Coins Instead Of Dollar

Shire Man Discovers Magical World On Other Side Of Floordrobe

A Shire man has found himself in a magical parallel world on the other side of his floordrobe inhabited by lions, witches and talking woodland creatures. “I was digging right down deep into the pile of clothes in my floordrobe looking for a reasonably clean pair of underpants when I suddenly found myself standing knee high in snow in a pine forest,” said Como West … Continue reading Shire Man Discovers Magical World On Other Side Of Floordrobe

Canberra To Once Again Be Punished With Summernats

The pleasant city of Canberra will once again be punished by the rest of Australia for being the nicest place to live by being forced to host the Summernats. “They have all the museums, the war memorial, Floriade, one of the best universities in the world and a cosmopolitan and well educated population, so we think it’s only fair that once a year every toolbox … Continue reading Canberra To Once Again Be Punished With Summernats

38 Year Old Man Now Owns Every Shirt He’s Going To Wear For The Rest Of His Life

A 38 year old shire man is done and dusted as far as shirt shopping goes for the rest of his life after recently adding an eighth shirt to his wardrobe. “That’s it, unless I magically grow an extra arm or something, I don’t see any reason why I’d need to buy another shirt,” said Dolan’s Bay electrician Phil Hubbard after impulse buying a plain … Continue reading 38 Year Old Man Now Owns Every Shirt He’s Going To Wear For The Rest Of His Life

Heavy Duty Tradies Radio Won’t Play Classical Music Station

A violin concerto loving roof tiler has been forced to listen to nothing but blocks of non stop rock from the local FM radio station after learning that the no nonsense worksite radio he bought from the hardware store lacks the ability to pick up the classical music station. “Whenever I turn the dial to the frequency for the classical and fine music station I … Continue reading Heavy Duty Tradies Radio Won’t Play Classical Music Station

Three Year Old Being Good Boy For His Mum, Reports Shire Tradie

Gunnamatta Bay toddler Jackson Atkins has confirmed that he is being a good boy for his mum after being questioned on the subject whilst watching a local tradie repair his family’s broken washing machine. “He was reluctant to give me any kind of answer at first and tried to avoid the question by burying his face in his mum’s side,” said Taren Point washing machine … Continue reading Three Year Old Being Good Boy For His Mum, Reports Shire Tradie

Missing Microchipped Company Employee Found Safe At Dog Pound

A newly microchipped employee of an American company has been found safe and well at the local dog pound after going missing for nearly a week. “We’d been worried sick that we’d never see Trent again after some idiot left the company gate open and he managed to slip away,” said relieved the CEO of Three Square Market. “Fortunately he was picked up by the … Continue reading Missing Microchipped Company Employee Found Safe At Dog Pound