God has let the world know that he is still intent on saving The Queen, allowing residents of New South Wales to enjoy a long weekend in honour of her birthday.
“She’s a good ‘un that one, so I fully intend to let her reign happy and glorious over the rest of you as long as she damn well feels like it,” said God as he headed down the coast to his holiday place in Gerringong. “I keep germs away from her, make sure her horses don’t shy up at snakes and check the wheels on her coaches are properly bolted on before she goes for a parade up and down the Mall.”
God seems particularly impressed by her majesty’s nobleness, grace and knack of picking up victories.
“I’ve been scattering her enemies left right and centre, except for that brief period in 1977 when I delegated the job to Mr Johnny Rotten from the Sex Pistols. However, I didn’t feel that Mr Rotten was fair dinkum about saving the Queen, and moved Lizzie R’s wellbeing back into my purview quick sticks.”
God admits he’s had a bastard of a time frustrating the knavish tricks of the Queen’s political enemies.
“That bit’s in the second verse that most people don’t even know exists, but let me tell you frustrating knavish tricks takes up a great whack of my energy. Only yesterday I removed a bucket of water from over one of the doors of Buckingham Palace that Prince Charles must have put there.
I like her a lot more than that scrawny nazi twat Edward the Eighth, that’s for sure. I left him to his own devices as soon as I could.”
Peter Green
bobvulture 